posted by She Did What, Now? on 40s, Career

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What’s a girl to do when, at 46, she loses her husband, her job and is on the brink of losing her home? Start a dating service, that’s what.

 

Laura’s divorce was at the age of 46. “I was so happy to get away from him. But, I spent a couple of years kicking myself in the butt for staying as long as I did.”

A few years after her divorce, she lost her job and subsequently, nearly lost her house. That’s when the idea to launch a dating service hit. “Well, why not do it? I don’t have any other income. I just thought ‘Gee, I’d like to date’ and surely most people my age would like a date and don’t like online dating.” (Our midlife gal, Lynea, thought nearly the same thing about cats.)

Looking back, Laura freely calls her experience a midlife crisis. To date, she’s the first female I’ve talked with that doesn’t cringe at the term. “I call mine a midlife crisis. I wish we didn’t have that [midlife crisis] stereotype. It’s so wrong about really what a midlife crisis is.” She adds, “My own midlife crisis was a good thing, because it may have saved my life.  It made me see how I was settling for far too little in my life.”

Still, she only kept her dating service doors open for a mere six months. “I realized it wasn’t really me. Did you know that a dating service means a lot of parties? I didn’t know that. I’m really not a party person. I got more women than men, as you might guess. Especially single women in their 50s. So, then I joined Match.com with a really broad profile. And, the first person I met was [my new husband].”

She goes on to say, “[There’s] something about being in a great relationship that doesn’t want to make you run a dating service. You know what I mean?” Actually, I do.

“There’s two ways to look at a dating service and one of them is sleazy. Guys call you on New Year’s Eve and try to get you to go out with them.”

I asked Laura if these guys think they’re calling an escort service, “Ya. They get it mixed up. That just felt sleazy to me.”

Me, too.

 After being an academic librarian for 25 years, Laura fulfilled a lifelong dream to become a writer.  She started a blog a few years ago and has written five books to help others who feel stuck in their own midlife Hell. In addition, Laura offers coaching for those who need help transitioning into their best life ever, the one after the crisis, when you finally become the person you are inside.

Tags: Career Change, Divorce, Forties